12:43 am Ahh. Doom is mostly gone. Thanks to those who helped to comfort me, even if I didn't unscreen your comments. It certainly meant a lot to me.
Aaaanyways. I'm on the last leg of my extra long summer vacation. I'm filled with mixed emotions on it. On one hand, I love having all the free time in the world and traveling. On the other hand... Well, I technically do have things that I need to do. One of those things including taking a serious look at going back to school. And making money so I can do more of these trips. :) Of course, I had lots of help from the parents, Hetza and Oceanrider. ^.^ I also hope to get more in touch with the furry community. Both on and offline. God I missed out on not going to cons!
Anyways, I'll post up more once I'm back down to earth and in the grind of things in Seattle.
Ciao! Current Location:Las Vegas, NV Current Mood: calm
11:20 pm - Meh.. Greetings once again all. I look back and see that it has been a long time since I have posted on here and much has changed.
I think i shall start by doing a quick recap of the highlights of the past 6 months.
December: Moved into new apartment. Went rather smoothly. Worked on the house and managed to get some of the deposit back.
January-May: Lots of work. Lots of sleep. Lots of internet. Lather, Rinse, Repete.
June: This is when things start to get interesting. I met my mate Bun Bun when she poped on over out of boredom one day. She lives about an hour north in turlock. I had met her once before when i was working at the con. I didnt really notice as I was buzy and stuffs, but apparently she remembered me. Anyway she came down and we hit it off and she proceded to show how much she liked me my trying to kill me and my roomate with poison gas ^.^ Really what she did was try to help by setting off a bug bomb in the kitchen and not choosing the best way to inform us of this fact. It still makes a good story though hehe.
After that we saw more and more of each other. I was relunctant at first after my last relationship but I did like her so I just went along with things for a while. After some time I got to know her better and we officially became mates. She is smart and funny. She is going to be a teacher for special ed students. She knows what she wants in life and doesent want anything from me other than my love which is good. I do love her and she loves me back and I couldnt be happier in that aspect of my life right now.
My job however is a different story. Things started degrading at work near the end of may and I finally quit working after I found out that some higher ups were wanting to fire me for something I did not even do and other workers and managers agreed that I did not do anything wrong but beceause a customer complained and they dont feel like looking into matters before they takde action I left the place and began looking for new work. That was about three weeks ago. I have found that the job market is dead right now. Even deader than usuall. I expected there to not be many opening easily avaliable but with a little searching I would find something but there is almost nothing out there except for the higher level positions and sales jobs.
So thats where I am at now. I finally have a decent SO, but no job to speak of. Current Mood: blah
12:36 am - Playing Nice With Humans Another little therian-related drabble about a random happening today involving me threating to throw one of the CounselorInTraining kids into the lake for getting my book wet. (I work at a summer camp currently)
People around me learn quickly that I follow through on my threats.
I often find that fellow humans tend to Sense therians and 'kin on some level or another. I'm wondering how many others get this feeling and/or use it to their advantage like I did today.
08:12 pm - RSA decrypter v1 completed - codename project luck :P note: doc gave me some meds that get rid/remove the pain from my migraine so I'm doing good. No need to worry! ^_^
So, what do you do when you have a migraine that lasts for almost a week strait, makes it to painful to play video games or just about anything? Program, that is what! -yah i'm a geek ;)
In the last 48 hours I started a program that would decrypt RSA. It seemed like a fun challenge and in the past I wrote a formula that sqrt() instead of mod() -er % thinngy. divided, you know? - and I honestly thought it would perform slower than brute force but after making it and a brute force version back to back at slowest my program is about 300 times faster. However, it averages at 400 to 600 times faster for most rsa number cracking. I'm not going to get into details right now, but so far this project has been a lot of fun.
On day one I wrote most of v1. It was under 1 page in size for the whole program (obviously not including the header files) and was quite simple to write. I was pleased with the results. On day two I was curious about threading. I have a core 2 duo in my comp and my program runs at a max 99.6% cpu out of 200%. wonderful... So I spent at least three hours learning POSIX linux threading stuff but it turns out to be C and not C++ even if I did get most of it working in C++. Geez, even the tutorials said C++. liars! So I looked at wrappers. There are tons of C++ wrappers but none of them stood out and I was in a bad mood spending half my day wasted so i was like, "fuck it" and I searched for unix's fork() command stuff. It is well documented but there are not really any good tutorials I could find. I know what you're thinking, 'fork!?! that isn't productive! you shouldn't use it!' blah blah blah. It ended up working out really well after I gave up on the tutorials and dived into the direct documentation.
So now my program threads and I set a #define NUM_THREADS up default to 2 right now cuz, you know, core 2 duo and I expected a max of a 1.8x increase but instead I got, as far as I can tell, a full blown 2x speed increase! ok, maybe a 1.99999x increase or something but my program is breathing fire right now! ;)
So, anyways, if you've made it this far either you're crazy, bored, or know what the hell I'm talking about. For the latter: If you run osx I can compile you a version if you want to check out. I currently don't have any user input though. the RSA= is a define as well as the brute force number to start. All that is required is osx 10.5.1 or better. Sorry but 10.4 isn't 64-bit and this is a x86_64 program only. Also, I'm to lazy to look it up but if you run linux and know how I can compile it without booting into a linux distro I'd be happy to. still required: 64bit os so 64bit linux. Oh and windows users are out of the loop. Windows, linux, and unix are all fucking crazy retarded when it comes to threads. Windows has its own way of doing it and therefor my program is not cross comptable unless I install a 64 bit win xp or vista and compile it directly on the OS. oh also, did I forget to mention that I'd have to chance most of the program too? not really fun if you ask me. maybe I should have used a universal thread wrapper that works for linux and windows for cross computability. oh well...
04:28 pm - Panorama Tools Something that's been on my TODO list for a long time, is to stitch together a large number of my photos into one big one. I really really don't have enough time to evaluate several packages. So if anyone can just tell me which one is "the best" I'll be on my way.
Here's an expiriment I did this morning while I should have been doing other things. It's from a series of photos I took of the moonrise lastnight, parked on the side of the road (University Ave.) http://www.arclight.net/~julia/lj/2008_Jul/test.jpg Current Location:work Current Mood: busy
My name is Koraoah. I meditated to find out this name, and believe I was given it by a cat entity of some sort. I have been known on livejournal and IRC by various names, but this one is *mine* at last.
I was "called" by the goddess Bast(et) at about age 16, and have been close to her ever since, although my Christian beliefs for quite some time prevented me from devloping any sort of deep meaningful spiritual relationship with her. Recently I've been able to rectify the two, combining my own form of Christianity with faith in Bast. I pray to both the God of Christianity, as well as to Jesus and Bastet and am devloping my own relationship with Sekhmet as well. As another feline Goddess, she calls to me also. I've collected statues of Bast since I was in my teens, and each statue means something to me, in a different way.
I have long known myself to be a therian. I intially had settled on wolf but have had some ... discrepancies with my wolf-ness, such as a phantom tail and other characteristics during shifts that are much more feline than canine, but I've tried to fit myself into the canine "box". I am opening my mind at this point to the possibility I have misinterpreted my therianthropy - I'd rather know the truth than try to force myself into something that isn't me.
I don't have the slightest idea what type of feline I am inside. Right now I am studying Otherkin races of cats, as well as those from this earth, and the possibility of ancient hybrids of "other" feline and human species. As I discover myself I hope to learn more. I'm definitely not a "newbie" - I've known of otherkin and vampires (some may say the same thing some may say two different things!) for almost 10 years (I am in my late 20s).
I was a psi-vampire for approximately 10 years until my second Reiki attunement, after which I have no need to take in external psi energies. It is quite wonderful! I know it doesn't work for many, but I am thankful it worked for me. Whatever was going on with my energy system I believe has been shifted into a non-vampiric one.
I'm also learning about energy work. My first true energy construct was a cat - unfortunately when my fiance and I adopted a dog, she moved out, and I later found her living with my parents. She is quite happy there with the other cats! I do not think I am up to the responsibility I feel to construct entities to create another one at this time.
Life is a perpetual discovery :)
Koraoah
PS - I am not faerie, but I love faerie art, so many of my userpics will often be faerie in nature :)
Cross posted to any and all otherkin or therian related journals to which I belong because I want to say hi and see what people have to say!! :)
My name is Koraoah. I meditated to find out this name, and believe I was given it by a cat entity of some sort. I have been known on livejournal and IRC by various names, but this one is *mine* at last.
I was "called" by the goddess Bast(et) at about age 16, and have been close to her ever since, although my Christian beliefs for quite some time prevented me from devloping any sort of deep meaningful spiritual relationship with her. Recently I've been able to rectify the two, combining my own form of Christianity with faith in Bast. I pray to both the God of Christianity, as well as to Jesus and Bastet and am devloping my own relationship with Sekhmet as well. As another feline Goddess, she calls to me also. I've collected statues of Bast since I was in my teens, and each statue means something to me, in a different way.
I have long known myself to be a therian. I intially had settled on wolf but have had some ... discrepancies with my wolf-ness, such as a phantom tail and other characteristics during shifts that are much more feline than canine, but I've tried to fit myself into the canine "box". I am opening my mind at this point to the possibility I have misinterpreted my therianthropy - I'd rather know the truth than try to force myself into something that isn't me.
I don't have the slightest idea what type of feline I am inside. Right now I am studying Otherkin races of cats, as well as those from this earth, and the possibility of ancient hybrids of "other" feline and human species. As I discover myself I hope to learn more. I'm definitely not a "newbie" - I've known of otherkin and vampires (some may say the same thing some may say two different things!) for almost 10 years (I am in my late 20s).
I was a psi-vampire for approximately 10 years until my second Reiki attunement, after which I have no need to take in external psi energies. It is quite wonderful! I know it doesn't work for many, but I am thankful it worked for me. Whatever was going on with my energy system I believe has been shifted into a non-vampiric one.
I'm also learning about energy work. My first true energy construct was a cat - unfortunately when my fiance and I adopted a dog, she moved out, and I later found her living with my parents. She is quite happy there with the other cats! I do not think I am up to the responsibility I feel to construct entities to create another one at this time.
Life is a perpetual discovery :)
Koraoah
PS - I am not faerie, but I love faerie art, so many of my userpics will often be faerie in nature :)
03:11 am - Busy, busy, busy... So, right now I'm missing The Last Hope although there's still enough time for me to jump on a plane and make it. PET is coming up in a few days, and I want to spend time with enochsmiles, but I could buy a MacBook or Nikon D300 for what plane tickets are now. And time-wise, I'm trying to keep my head above water at work. And I also noticed that if I can stop spending money for three months, I'll have enough saved up for surgery (yes, that operation).
In the meantime, I'm going up to veedub's tonight, and then to the Infected Mushroom concert at 1015 Folsom [in San Francisco].
03:42 pm - Hellgate London has been Flagshipped. Seems after the big Hanbitsoft vs Flagship catfight, many features for Hellgate London have been shut off. Namely subscription features have been "disabled" (players won't get charged for having a subscription and new subscriptions are disabled) and the forums are almost about to be closed down as well.
The question is, where will Hellgate London go after this? Will it simply just disolve and be another game to sit on the shelf with no servers (like Phantasy Star Online) because the company simply just disolved or didn't want to be involved anymore? Whats going to happen to those who payed for the founding-subsciptions only to be raughted by Hanbitsoft's handslap jesture of being a bigomist bunch of hoo-hoes?
09:50 pm - Oops... the system has encountered a problem (#102) So I finally think I've figured out why my Gmail has been busted for awhile on my Firefox. I was constantly getting the following error:
Oops... the system has encountered a problem (#102) - Retrying in 1s...
The gmail support site seems to indicate that it's a known problem and the Gmail engineers are working on it, but it doesn't say much more than this.
This userscript is meant to wrap text automatically. So often, I see pages that force horizontal scroll because the stylesheet doesn't take into account long blocks of text, and this hopefully fixes that.
After disabling Force Wrap, my Gmail problem has simply disappeared. Reenabling this userscript brings it back. Force Wrap doesn't apply to Gmail itself, but I can only guess it's messing with the Java somewhere, and hence causing this problem.
Anyway, for those having this Gmail problem, I just wanted to suggest looking at your Greasemonkey userscripts, as one or more of them may just be the culprit.
Being the utmost expert at the identity of things (It follows from being an Objectivist. A is A after all.) let me clarify a thing or two about furry.
Furries are people who like to have various perverted kinds of sex online and offline while pretending to be anthropomorphic animals.
That is it.
So like it or not, you're just going to have to deal with the fact that furries are a bunch of decadent hooligans that like to yiff around in the most inappropriate manner and contexts possible. It's not like you have a choice.
PS: ahahahahahaha^ahahahahahaha Current Mood: X to the power of X
06:53 pm - Things a California Driver in Washington Needs to Know - There are four permitted places to perform a legal U-turn. In the entire state of Washington.
- Two of them are right-hand U-turns.
- Helpful upcoming cross-street signs don't exist in Washington.
- Only one speed limit sign per road per county.
- Streets will change names no less than twice within five miles.
- 'Clean top' highway patrolmen drive every make/color of vehicle imaginable.
- Taxi companies drive former police cruisers.
- A GPS isn't a prerequisite.. but you'll be sorry without.
- The WA Dept. of Transportation employs Public Works Ninjas who can disappear entire streets overnight.
- There are no rules.
Edit: Forgot to mention the one where someone built a building across a street. No signs or fences or anything, just suddenly, a building. Mapping services aren't aware of this and cheerfully instruct people to drive through the obstacle. Current Mood: confused Current Music: none
08:34 pm - Games Workshop So, you may have noticed a little venom in my post about the Warhammer MMO. Just a touch. A dab, even. Well, there's a reason for it. I hate Games Workshop. I'm willing to admit they have an interesting setting (somewhat, though not to my tastes), but the company's business practices give me the desire to see the company sink into a black hole, never to be seen again.
1) They're directly responsible for two, if not three, closings of indie businesses in Ottawa alone. 2) They tried to put a stop to the Red Dwarf RPG, because 'they thought people would confuse it with the White Dwarf magazine'. 2a) failing that, they wanted the company that produced Red Dwarf to pay a licensing fee to Games Workshop for each book sold in the UK. 3) I may be mistaken, but John Wick had to contact them about using the word 'ork' for the Orkworld RPG, because GW goes after anyone using the word 'ork' in their RPGs. 4) When they reduced the cost of peripheral figurines for their minis game, this hit their forums. That was fine, until someone pointed out that the primary figures were actually up in price. The forum thread was killed with the explanation that their business practices / pricing is not meant to be discussed in the forums.
Further examples are more personal dislikes over some aspects of their settings and games, and just add fuel to the fire. Now, I hold no hate for those people who play the games - hey, they're having fun, nothing wrong with that. But yeah, I have a serious hate for the company itself. Current Location:Home Current Mood: complacent
08:11 pm - Knights of the Old Republic 3 and Warhammer coming out as MMOs. Link Here, thanks to marinredwolf
Ha! I mock Games Workshop! mock mock mock mock mock!
Why? Because they're making an MMO. Games "I don't see video games ever taking off" Workshop. The guys who turned down Blizzard when Blizzard went up to them and said 'hey, we're making a game, and want to use Warhammer and Warhammer 40K for it'.
You know, WarCraft and StarCraft? How about World of WarCraft, one of the biggest MMOs out there. And Games Workshop turned them down!
I mock them for trying to come into the MMO world now.
mock mock mock mock mock! Current Location:Home Current Mood: content
01:56 pm - At the Movies! (Almost spoiler free!) Why yes, I am starting to keep up with LJ more, again. :)
Cadpig and I went to see WALL-E awhile ago, when I was still in PA. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect going into the movie, but it was a very enjoyable film, with more than a few "Awwww!" moments. If you keep politics out of the film, it comes down to essentially a love story... with robots. Hey, it's cute, and we liked it. ^.^
Last night, roomates and I went to Grauman's Chinese Theatre. (Yes, THAT theatre!) I've been there before, but usually to the smaller screens. This time we got into the largest screen, and it was just so beautiful. I really wish I'd had a camera to take pictures. Geeze, I'm starting to sound like a tourist, haha.
Anyway, we definitely enjoyed the film we saw, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. Lots of action and far more comedy than I expected. We went ballistic when ( Cut for possible spoiler ). Ah, simple minds are amused by simple things, I guess.
Del Toro's influence was duly noted throughout the movie, and I feel was the right decision to direct. Dark fey? Yes please. No pink sugarplum fairies here. (Not that I mind pink, nor Tchaikovsky, not at all!) If you've not seen a previous Del Toro movie, Pan's Labyrinth, I also highly recommend it.
05:02 pm - Brrnn / Brinn Has anyone heard of Brrnn / Brinn ?
I've read a tiny bit about them on a couple websites and a little in Lupa's Field Guide to Otherkin, but I'm hoping to find someone with a bit more information.
from one site:
There are two feline races I've heard about, Cats of Kyphur, and Brinn/Brrrnn. I really don't know much about them other than the fact that they were very large cats, and both very intelligent races. Brinn/Brrrnn were apparently a nomadic desert people, competing with two other races for resources. As a race, they are still searching for something they have been looking for a long time. ( http://www.elfstarstudios.com/words.html )
01:49 am - Boredom setting in... I'm starting to find things frustrating as of late. Entertainment has been getting mediocer on a unbarable level and its starting to irritate me to no end.
I've been trying to get back in to other games like Phantasy Star Universe, Freelancer, even Vanguard and many other titles I used to play but can't seem to find or feel the vibe I once used to. I've played Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Pokemon Diamond I can't go a single hour without boredom setting in (or neck/wrist/hand cramps).
I'm running out of steam...
I can't draw at the moment. I can't find anything to keep me entertained. My sex-life is upside down and out the door. My energy and body are caput...
What the hell am I suppose to do in a situation like this...?
Its like this. I want to do something, anything to get out of this boredom yet my brains going "nope, not gunna happen" and I'm forced to be bored. Its one of the biggest reasons why I'm so depressed because I can't find anything to do without feeling... well, dragged down and irritated.
Hell, I can't even sleep. I've only been getting about a couple or so hours worth of sleep every night for the past 10 years since all the issues began happening in my life. I can't sleep without the fan on, even in Winter as I can't breath properly without cool air going to my lungs yet my body has to stay warm (as I've pointed out to many people, my body is hyper-sensetive which includes tempretures and weather).
Whats a guy like me suppose to do when you feel like you've reached that "peak" in your life where you just can't seem to find anything else to do? Current Mood: tired
02:16 am - The Game A random little drabble about the many times my therianthropy shows a bit too much. And also a bit about the difference between 'domestic' therians and 'wild' therians, although that isn't as obvious as it might seem.
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
alynna's Friends Page![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/calm.gif){kind=small}
calm![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/opiummmm/foxies/okay.gif){kind=small}
blah![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/opiummmm/foxies/working.gif){kind=small}
busy![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/opiummmm/foxies/thoughtful.gif){kind=small}
contemplative![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/sleepy_sg.gif){kind=small}
sleepy![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y189/autumnfox/Mood%20-%20TaniDaReal%20Fox/ljm_geeky.gif)
eureka!![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/dwaggins/smile.gif){kind=small}
X to the power of X![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/content.gif){kind=small}
content![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/complacent.gif){kind=small}
complacent![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y189/autumnfox/Mood%20-%20TaniDaReal%20Fox/ljm_sleepy.gif)
content
![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/grumpy_sg.gif){kind=small}
moody![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/opiummmm/foxies/sad.gif){kind=small}
tired![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ford/sydnicons/Sydney0.gif){kind=small}
cheerful
