Alynna/Loxorion's Livejournal

Test..icles

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:11:19 GMT

67% Bill Richardson
60% Mike Gravel
60% Chris Dodd
55% John Edwards
54% Joe Biden
54% Barack Obama
54% Hillary Clinton
53% Dennis Kucinich
50% Ron Paul
47% Mitt Romney
46% John McCain
45% Rudy Giuliani
45% Mike Huckabee
44% Tom Tancredo
42% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Mythicalia con report: Notes for a better entry/post tomorrow

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 06:08:20 GMT

16-22:02> <Alynna> this weekend..
16-22:02> <Alynna> has been one long stretch of spiritual bliss.
16-22:15> <TheListener> How so?
16-22:25> <Alynna> Oh well lets see.
16-22:26> <Alynna> lets go over the list of stuff that happened this weekend so I can eventually formulate a post,.
16-22:27> <Alynna> Friday night. Everyone went to bed except me and Eshari, a faerie. We end up going on a night hike at 1am and talk about everything imaginable.
16-22:29> <Alynna> Also Friday Night: We saw a fox. I had both inquired and confirmed something with the spirits around me, that if we had done the right thing and if I should go ahead with my discussion, that a sign of the goodness of it should manifest. A fox did.
16-22:29> <Alynna> Samui had never seen a fox up close and personal till last Friday.
16-22:30> <Alynna> Saturday night:
16-22:30> <Alynna> I ran my panel on therianthropy and animal spirituality. It was a smashing success. it went for hours, it was a major discussion.
16-22:31> <Alynna> it was the longest panel of the night..
16-22:32> <Alynna> later on I went into the forest to recharge and do my energy work.
16-22:32> <Alynna> It turned into a 75 minute conversation with .. the forest.
16-22:32> <Alynna> We just went over.. everything.
16-22:32> <Alynna> I presented myself and Samui to the forest as we are, foxes.
16-22:33> <Alynna> and a conversation started that went on and on..
16-22:33> <Alynna> it was the most fucking amazing thing..
16-22:33> <Alynna> it was powerful beyond words.
16-22:34> <Alynna> I could see the spirits in the trees, in the animals, I could see the faerie. They wanted an offering, and I gave the faerie a sugar wafer.
16-22:34> <Alynna> strawberry.
16-22:34> <Alynna> its all I had but they liked it anyways..
16-22:35> <Alynna> the most powerful part of Mythicalia I made for myself and Samui, in the forest.
16-22:35> <Alynna> As foxes.
16-22:36> <Alynna> one of the important things you should know about the forest, is that, after you present yourself to the forest, you're probably going to find out it knows you or about you.
16-22:37> <Alynna> word gets around trees very fast.
16-22:37> <Alynna> you will also be amazed what trees know about..
16-22:37> <Alynna> Saturday.
16-22:37> <Alynna> I mean sunday.
16-22:38> <Alynna> now to sunday. The real neat stuff didn't happen till later. We wandered around San Francisco alot.. and saw many neat things, including a water fountain for dogs O.o
16-22:39> <Alynna> but I realised that this would be a good chance to meet up with mom in Berserkley..
16-22:39> <Alynna> long story short is that we did
16-22:40> <Alynna> we got to talk about alot of things, some mundane, some not so much..
16-22:40> <Alynna> and she gave me a shiny!!1!
16-22:40> * Alynna cuddles her shiny!
16-22:42> <Alynna> this shiny is now the new center of my spirit workd
16-22:42> <Alynna> i am gonna find a way to put it on a pendant
16-22:54> <TheListener> Sounds like a blast! Though I should sleep now...

Plan: Big Kitsune Party

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:47:34 GMT

I am planning a big kitsune/kami party for FC this year. I am in the process of getting a room for it on the party floor, and i'll publish its date, time and room number as it has.

There is unlikely to be punch and pie. But I am planning on many different teas, rice crackers, sushi, kitsune udon, and sake, depending on my financial resources when I go to do this. It will probably go for most of whatever night it occurs on.

Questions going out to you all.. who is coming to FC, and what else do you think we should do with this?

Dreamlog.. Again.

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:11:12 GMT

Something is going on with me right now I dont know what, i've been dreaming one after another, once again I dont remember this dream in its entirety, but I remember .. alot more of it than the last ...

The part I remember was at my grandmother's house. Biological grandma on my father's side. I was human in the dream, at least physically, but mentally it was a whole other story. I was a fox mentally, at least mostly. I still had sentient thoughts, but vulpine thoughts and instincts ran on top of this practically uncontrollable.

in any case, it was very awkward. I noticed that the house was getting even more and more empty, and that people were gathering a room where I wasn't allowed into.. I noticed this and I started getting really worried about what was going on.. So I went and found a vent to listen through and put my head to it, and heard that they were having an argument about what to do with me.

My grandma was the only one defending me, saying maybe I just had a fox spirit and "we should just accept him for who he is." My father was the loudest against his, saying that I was sick or possessed and he would purge this fox thing no matter what he had to do..

At that point I ran off into the woods, crying. I found some strawberry bush, at least I think it was, it was big, and I started to burrow there to make a place to sleep and live. This didn't last long, I was found and carted back to the house. I didn't really know whether to resist or not at that point so I just let myself get led back..

After that he took me out to a psychologist, and .. they talked to me for a bit. I don't remember all the questions, I remember being confounded by them.. I only can remember a few of the questions, though I know there was more cause I can remember the space in the dream. I was asked why I was acting like a fox, and I asked if I was not supposed to, then they said I was a human, and I felt (and must have looked) like someone had told me the sky was pink and green plaid. They asked me why I was a fox, and I said I had no answer for that, and asked them why they are a man.

They just seemed to observe me for a while after that. They brought a vixen in after this in some kind of test. I could tell she was a vixen because of the face and smell of her. I started yipping at her and made some gestures towards her that I just instinctually jnew, saying i wasn't going to hurt her and i'd try to protect her and they must have come through because she came up to me and laid down next to me. I was comfortable with this and laid down on my side with her to sleep a little.

I didn't get any actual sleep, even though I was resting there and the vixen was half sleeping too. We were both kind of nervous about the doctors standing by. I guess this wasn't what they expected to happen. They discussed for a while, and it was alot of mumble to me, as if I lost the ability to understand humans talking at this moment.

Eventually they took me out of the room with the vixen, though not without both me and her freaking out about it. They put me under an MRI device and I could hear my father freaking out in the background. The doctors said that my MRI showed that my brain bore as many similarites to a fox brain as it did a human one, and as such, they could not declare me 'insane', and there was no way to change how a brain has fundamentally formed. He then demanded me removed, so they put me back in the room with the vixen.

At this time I noticed she smelled different and that she had marked the place where we were laying before. When I came back she gave me a nuzzle and a clear indication she wanted to stay with me as some sort of companion. I accepted this and nuzzled her back on the nose and gave her a few mouthlicks, some sounds I made meant that I would stay with her. Well my father must have stood by watching this because he ran in and punted the vixen away from me. I absolutely flipped out about this, and started biting at his leg and scratching him in a state of berserk... Others came in and put a muzzle and collar on me and prepared to drag me off, and I was barking at the vixen, promising i'd come back and get her.

Now they seemed to have another idea, cause the next thing I remember I was at a church, I remember which one, New Covenant Church in Bristol, CT. They were strapping me to an altar and 'anointing me in oil', and everyone was praying for God to chase the fox demon out of me. The entire church was chanting this prayer and for some reason I was reminded of the cult scene from Earthbound.

Well, their praying must have worked, because Jesus came down from heaven to personally answer their prayer. He was dressed in white robes, and I could tell that this was Jesus instantly ... (actually this was the first time I ever dreamed about Jesus, ever .. I'm going to leave commentary on this for later) and everyone stopped praying and got on their faces, worshipping him, and Jesus said "Can you people stop doing that?" Well practically everyone listened and stood up and the pastor was like "I cant believe this is important enough for you to come down and cast out the demons yourself!" and Jesus said to him, "What? He has no demons, he's part fox." and most of the congregation gave a look as if they had been hit across the face by a 2 by 4.

My father started protesting, saying "My lord Jesus, I don't understand, what do you mean he's part fox?" And Jesus said again. "He's a werefox, he can turn between human and fox. What, you think we only make humans up here?" there were more murmurings around the church and the pastor said.. "Can you cure him, can you turn him into a human?" and Jesus said back "My father's will is already done here, he is what he is supposed to be. Why would I change that? While i'm on that subject, why don't you cut the gays some slack? If it wasn't the will of the Father for queer folk to be queer, they would have been born straight! Do you think we make mistakes?"

This resulted in half the church shouting, and immediately denouncing Jesus. The pastor started crying and saying.. "But, your word, it says.." and Jesus cut him off, saying, "The men who wrote those words were not allowed into heaven, for twisting My words to their own ends. Note I did not say 'they were sent to hell' as if I were some sadistic monster. Remember that I am Love. The words I really said, would make my own people gnash your teeth and wail, for you, too, would have to love."

At this point Jesus started to unbind me from the altar, and I found that I had immediate and tremendous respect for him all of the sudden, and that the real Jesus was something entirely different than anyone realised. He then rubbed behind my ear, and this felt incredible... he then told me "You should learn to change to fox soon, and it will be safer for you when you do." Well I didn't know how at this point, or even how it was possible. I looked up at him and He said.. "You have to learn it."

Well Jesus left after this, and the loudest, most violent religious debate you ever saw was going on. People were attacking others with chairs, some screaming about Jesus and love, and others denouncing Jesus and saying they'd find some other Jesus to worship (?) and I wasn't sure all would live. I tried to slip out the back but my father came, furious, and a little bloodied, screaming, "I refuse to worship any Jesus that says my son is a fox!" and he dragged me off to some new doctor.

This new doctor, was not a regular doctor... I seemed to be in some government facility. Some of the 'doctors' wore black suits, and it seems that I was in a facility for extraterrestrial or supernatural phonenoma. I saw other specimens, very briefly. Werewolves, faeries, dragons, a mermaid.. none of them looked in very good condition. My father was still about, for some reason. They were talking and I heard them saying that my father had authorized the use of torture to try to correct me. This part of the dream was longer than I am going to write it. I'm going to summarize it because it was so depressing I am sure I was crying.

They put me in this room... it was a glass room, it had all sorts of things, it had a computer for the internet, it had alot of human things like a TV and video games.. but it also had little dog toys and places to burrow.. I walked around confused and curled up on the floor.. and they started to spray me down with water! I got up and yapped at them, and they sprayed me again.

After a while I noticed a pattern. I'd never get sprayed if I did human things. When I was interested in doing it, I just did human things. But I could not help part of the time wanting to do fox things, so I just tried not to do anything, I still did end up getting sprayed, but they must have thought my 'doing nothing' was making progress.. because they introduced the vixen.

I missed her so bad, I immediately ran to her, falling on my hands and knees, and started to nuzzle and lick at her affectionately, yerfing about how I missed her. Needless to say, I got sprayed with water immediately, we both did. I went berserk again, running over to the apparatus that sprayed at the water and trying to bust it up. It sprayed constantly until I moved away from it. I hid under the table, and the vixen came over.. We looked at eachother, we wanted to get close, but the moment we were within 3 inches.. spray again. If at any point I had reached madness, it was now. I went berserk on the spraying thing again, and they dragged me out.

Now they put me up to shock therapy. Exposing me to different stimuli, every time I reacted positively to something vulpine, i'd get shocked. Not even a little shock, a hard shock. I was screaming and yelping, and every time I made a fox sound, ANOTHER shock. I started screaming "I AM A FOX! I AM A FOX!" over and over, I didn't even care about the shocks for a whlle, at this point I was so pissed I would not allow myself to be broken.

Once again it was my father and the black suits. They wanted to keep me, but my father was pissed at this point. They were talking, and determined that they would end up killing me before they could ever 'un-fox' me. My father said 'there's only one thing left to do..' and he carted me out of there. I watch the government men taking the vixen out, with me, and I thought maybe wherever they were bringing here, i'd go with. But they just let her out in front of the facility.

She followed me where I was being dragged along (bound up in a muzzle and a leash)... and it was to my father's car. He didn't let the vixen in! I started to freak out but I was seriously afraid of him at this point. The vixen chased the car for about a mile but it lost track of her. Driving kept going for about 30 minutes until I recognized us at Hancock Brook Lake. We drove deep into the woods there, and he let me out. I got out, and he took off everything that bound me. I thought for one moment.. [does he care now? Does he accept me?]

My answer came quickly. He got back in the car and started to drive away. Just like the vixen, I chased the car for about a mile, yelping! I was being abandoned! But I couldn't keep up with a car. Soon I was crying, sitting in the woods alone. The feelings I felt, of being utterly alone out there, and I was in despair.. I still couldn't believe he just couldn't accept me for me. I thought about the vixen. I was at least confident I could find her again. I'd just trace my way back. I decided if I could ever find any happiness out of anything that happened so far, I had to find the Vixen.

I woke up at this point. Damn, I didnt realise i'd remember so much.

Main points:
1) This dream was definitely therian... it was like one, long, permanent m-shift ... though I was told in the dream I could p-shift if I just learned how, during the dream, that ability was out of reach.
2) I have to wonder, is the Jesus of this dream the real Jesus? I could be a christian if this is what Jesus is really like. I admired the wisdom, and caring, and true love this man had.
3) The Vixen, had a very familiar energy. I am 98% certain it was Pyrova. Maybe she was supposed to be a guide during this dream, or maybe she was there just to make sure I didn't fall into total despair.

dreamlog: 20070326

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 14:51:36 GMT

(edited, LJ really don't like < and >)
We were on Earth for sure, the primary people i noted in this dream were me, Samui, Pyrova and the cat (Natsuki). This was in some Earth future which was post-apocalyptic. I wasn't privy to what actually happened, but whatever happened enabled both magic and physical changes. Dont know the year.

We were all in the expected, non-morphic, 6 tailed, forms. The cat was bigger, and clearly had gained some magic powers at some point, but not as much as us foxes had. The dream was alot longer than this but this is the only part I clearly remember...

Anyway, we (the above 4 mentioned) were in front of a fire, talking. We were on some alert, we might have been migrating from one point to another but we were settled for the night. I do not remember what we were even talking about.

Well this very scrawny (but aggressive) looking dog came by. It was hunting, and made note of the cat. Well I noticed this and looked over back at him. My tail puffed up and my ears fell back about half way and I growled at him... There was no magic involved, but I knew what I was saying with it. [the cat is my friend if you touch, you die].

The dog seemed very disappointed with this, but he hung around, being much less aggressive, and we allowed the dog to share the fire. The cat, said something to the effect of [i would never have survived this long without you all]. I put these in brackets because none of this was spoken, in mind or in word, it was just something you *got* from body language.. anyway..

A few moments later, some crazy *thing* with unusually long ears, attacked us. It might have been a rabbit, but if it was, it was some mutated huge rabbit that seemed to have more in common with a rat. Well we went on self-defense. The dog didn't, the dog just watched. I don't think the dog was in good enough shape to fight anything. After a few moments of fighting, i'd say about a minute, it was taken down.

We pushed it off to the side and the dog looked over at it. It was clear that he was hungry, but wouldn't touch it because it was our kill. At this point we started barking, and it was speech of a kind, I knew what I was barking and it was understood. The dog also barked back, and I understood it. The conversation went something like this (Approximate meaning, in blocks):

Me: [you can have this]
Dog: [are you sure?]
Samui: [we killed it in self defense]
Pyrova: [i don't want to eat that]
Me: [we will hunt] [later]

At this point the dog took it in his mouth and dragged the kill close to him... then he said [i have never met any magic ones before.] [my family will be grateful.] He then ran off with the mutant bunny-thing.

And I woke up soon after that.

Dream Documentation

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 10:35:56 GMT

I had this dream around 2:30am. It was pretty damn lucid... Here it is as dumped from IRC where I documented it originally.

[DISCLIAMER] Please note I claim this as nothing more than a dream, though it might be meaningful or worth interpreting, it did not actually happen that I know of.

--begin--
We were back at Barcode.. and there was this vampire trying to feed off Samui, so I got in the way and sent him a surge of fox energy...

Well this vampire seemed to notice and came over and got an attitude about it and started to fight..

So I grabbed his arm and started beating him with his own fist screaming "HEY! LISTEN! IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED WITH YOUR OWN ARM! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HELP?!"

After he fell to the ground, I said, "Hey! Listen! It looks like you have a chance to run away! Would you like some help?"

So I was going to just let him go, and I walked away, but he lunged at me again with a knife this time, but I sensed it coming somehow, and turned away at the last moment, and instinctively grabbed onto him, locked eyes, and drained him of all of his energy in 3 seconds flat.

This caused me to immediately shift physically into a kitsune form.
And people were staring at me screaming OH MY GOD ITS A FOX MONSTER!

Now I didnt want the vampire to die and I knew I drew so much he had only 5 minutes to live, so I locked my muzzle to his lips and threw up part of the energy I had took, back to him.

Then I asked for his Clan and said it'd take 12 days for him to recover, but people were starting to get very antsy about me and were gathering weapons and calling the cops..

So I ran back home, scared to death the entire way and darting in and out of corners...

I couldnt figure out how to change back and people from the cops to animal control kept coming by looking for me, and searching the house, but I was hiding in the box springs with the cat..

I got onto IRC and I was doing my best to type on IRC (with paws, i was a four paw) on #losthaven on IRC, asking people if someone could help me cause I didnt think I could stay where I was without them finding me.

Well a huge fight broke out between therians that say a p-shift CAN'T happen, and people who were there and saw it happen who were also on IRC at the time...

I woke up after this. The most significant part of this dream is that I had no wings, no faerie features at all. Just a fox body and 6 tails. And the fact that it scared me. Most my dreams don't scare me, this one did. Not my form, but that I was actually in danger.

Comments, of any kind, welcome.

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 07:14:48 GMT

Preliminary con report

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 08:44:18 GMT

I just got home so I am going to write up a small con report, possibly to be followed by a bigger one later.

Best things to happen at the con:
* Going to the con with my mate. This was his first con, and he was in total bliss mode. He got more stuff than me too..
* Rooming with Kithylin. Cuddling with Kithylin. Sleeping with Kithylin (not really any sex0rz tho). Cute husky..
* Meeting the following people: Sunstreak, Nuku, Raven, Typhon, Flashdust, Enkai, Nexxus, Selkit..
* Seeing again: Roofae, Solaxy
* Wolf Valley party convinced me the Valleys were worth going to again.

Cool things:
* Continental breakfast at the inn we were staying at, was excellent.

Favorite event:
* Fursuit parade, I was in it this time, I made it. I got to do one fursuit event at least.

Things that made me unhappy at the con:
* The Second Life panel. They entirely ignored the existence of Furnation, and didn't even show my Avatar Bazaar which was totally relevant to furries in Second Life. I kind of feel that the whole panel was a Luskwood advertisement. :(
* Finding out that one of the Luskwood founders is a Linden, and that LL typically responds in a week to resumes. My resume is being actively rejected. I need to find out why and if I can fix it or make myself more desirable. I am sure the look on my face when I was talking to them about it, was one of someone who had their dreams crushed. I nearly cried, but managed not to.
* The lack of a dead dog party, by all appearances when we left at 6:30pm.
* Being charged 4 times for a meal at the con hotel. They mostly rectified it, but, it still has my funds locked down.
* Not getting one of those cute Fox t-shirts.

Favorite things:
* Pepper, I love you. I mean, your suit. You're an inspiration to me and my new fursuit plans. There will be an Alynna v2 based on my SL avatar, with the blue dress, the pixie wings, the 6 tails, and a new vixen head, just because you have shown me how beautiful a vixen fursuit could be. I can't hope to surpass your own appearance, only match it.

* Alynna Suit v2 may also feature Cleavage Fox. The only new actual fursuit parts I expect it to require is a new head and a new tail *set*, limiting its cost. The new fursuit will only be head, and tails, the black paws from my current suit, and the rest will be clothing. Beautiful clothing.

Purchases:
* 2 new badges, expect scans.
* A new tail and ears upgrade, reflecting new colors.
* A new kitty tag for Natsuki, reflecting an email address rather than a phone number which is less likely to go away.

Misc:
* Got to try a Wii.

I missed my cat alot, and she did me too. She mewed alot when I got home.

I'm at home again. 5 days of (mostly) bliss has come to an end, making for 360 of tolerance before the next con comes around to prove that life is indeed worth living, even for that miniscule percentage of happiness.

New picture, me and Samui

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 18:25:46 GMT

It shouldnt stretch your page out much.

Funniest political stuff ever

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 15:54:10 GMT

http://www.weeklyradioaddress.com/WRA20061111.htm

Just ... listen.

A birthday request...

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 23:03:00 GMT

Well, I will be 30 on July 21st... I'm not really looking forward to it. 30.. i'm getting old..

Oh, I was laid off from Apple last Thursday, sorry for taking so long to mention this.

Oh, if anyone was thinking of, or planning any kind of birthday present to me.. i have an immediate need.

A laptop. The Cat knocked mine off the table and onto the floor where its LCD shattered. To be specific I am looking for

A Mac Laptop, capable of running OSX and preferably has PCMCIA (RAM and HD optional)
OR
A PC laptop, Pentium III/500 or better, with PCMCIA (RAM and HD optional)
OR
An LCD screen, for a Powerbook G4 Titanium 867mhz/1ghz

Any of these will help me get back on my feet techwise.

Mew?

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 20:40:54 GMT

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Oryuken!

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 20:24:09 GMT

LIVE TRUMPS 1.1

watch alynna fight

CREATE YOUR CARD

No fear.

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 16:23:33 GMT

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2060812

What does it mean, Confucious?

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 05:54:22 GMT

I actually got this from a fortune cookie I got tonight.
Me and samuikon laughed right there in the middle of Taste of China.
...
After this I believe anything could be found on a fortune cookie.

Updated machine specs

Mon, 15 May 2006 16:49:17 GMT

Vulpix:
CPU: Dual Pentium 3/600
RAM: 768m PC100
Disk sizes:
/dev/md0 46G 3.9G 42G 9% /
/dev/md2 6.1G 178M 5.6G 4% /pub
/dev/md3 111G 104G 6.1G 95% /mp3

Ninetails:
CPU: AMD Athlon(tm)/1200
RAM: 512m DDR266
Disk sizes:
/dev/hda3 17G 1.9G 15G 12% /
/dev/md0 112G 13G 94G 13% /home

Bandwidth: Shared 768k/768k (8mbit burst)

Oronet, server moving, downtime

Mon, 15 May 2006 16:38:47 GMT

Well animaltracks.net is unlikely to be the same for a while.

The gist of it:
1) What is left of Oronet is being shut down this week.
2) The hard drive in ninetails now loses IRQs, causing machine lockups.
3) There was no actual DDoS attack, just the symptoms of one.

The good:
1) Ninetails has been upgraded to an Athlon/1200, 512m DDR266, and now has an 80g/60g, with a 20g root and a 160g RAID0. There is a noticable speed increase.
2) Bandwidth to the server has jumped to 768/768, about double.
3) I have colocated a few of the services to another server on a hosting place I just bought.
4) There was no data loss.
5) Vulpix is back.

The bad:
1) Ninetails now has a dynamic IP though if you use the domain names, you will rarely notice it at all.
2) Email is shut down on Ninetails. If you were using your animaltracks.net or faefox.org email address, contact me ASAP to re-establish it on the new server.
3) Animaltracks.net will no longer be able to host DNS of any sort, and I am not even running the DNS daemon. If you need DNS, my suggestion will be to use http://freedns.afraid.org. I have switched to using this, and I will add update URLs to my IP updating script if you need a domain point.

The ugly:
1) Both Ninetails and Vulpix are hosted at my house behind Comcast Cable. They block outgoing mail, and a few other things which I have had to purchase a hosting service to replace. The most notable things are mail and DNS though.
2) It cost me $84 to set up the additional hosting to continue email service, and $40 to get up to Grass Valley to get the stuff. :(

For sale, I am *selling* the following items, to make up for money lost in the move ...
1) A 1U SuperMicro server. It will come with a Celeron/900, 128m RAM, and what I think is an 8g HD (its not the same one that was in it, but it is one that works), tho it is anywhere fron 6-10gb guaranteed. It will come with Kubuntu 5.1 loaded as a server install (Essentially Debian). It can be upgraded. I'll give more specs as needed. --> $200
2) A APC SmartUPS 1400. Able to power two servers and their networking equipment through a rolling blackout. Still working at last check. You would need to pay shipping and its about 50lbs at least --> $200
3) A Pentium 3/550 CPU and Motherboard combo. Slot 2. It can be safely overclocked to 600mhz. I may be able to pack it with 32m RAM for testing purposes only. This was the old sacfurs.com server board. Working last time it was checked. -> $20

4) An ATI Radeon 7000 PCI for Macintosh. Pretty much the fastest video you can get for an older Macintosh. Can be quartz extreme enabled. -> $30
5) Motherboard and CPU for a Macintosh Beige G3/300. The CPU works fine, the motherboard is questionable, it boots from CD but I cannot get it to initialize a hard disk. Buy for CPU only. -> $20

I may have more stuff I will post here.

IQ test. Hehe.

Mon, 08 May 2006 01:08:16 GMT

BTW this site is way lagged...

yerf flutters

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 23:52:11 GMT

What type of Fae are you?

The crap thats on my mind .. and I cant get it off

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 04:36:38 GMT

OK, i feel that I have to talk about this whole shrineofinari thing some more.

For one thing, I hate the fact that they have labeled me a poser, in fact, I really can't stand it, or let it stand unanswered. They have made this determination based on 3 things:
1) I dont list Inari or Shinto as one of my LJ interests O.o
2) I hang around on Furnet channel that fox2 is also on.
3) I have not made any public posts about therianthropy and kitsune in my journal.

Lets attack each of these one at a time like a good AppleCare tech would.
1) I dont know whether or not to touch this with a 10 foot pole or not! I guess I have to, just to address it. I made my interest list so long ago I didn't even know what to put. I didn't think that people would actually judge my entire existence on my interest lists, or maybe I would have put alot more. I mean, its a list that people barely think about.
2) As I have stated elsewhere, I hang out anywhere I can talk about spirituality and therianthropic matters, ok? I mean, fuck, do I even have an option to leave, when I am not going to be accepted into another community? Should I have to? Sure I'm sure some of them ARE RP kitsune. I'm not going to be the one to pass judgement. Thats not why i'm there. None of that is even the POINT. The point is, that you cannot make a judgement about *me* from that, especially when no other options are given.
3) The myriad of private posts about therianthropy, about being a kitsune, and other related matters, are private. IN that they are friends only. It did not always be that way, but when you have a dozen people keeping a 3 year running thread about you on the Portal of Evil, you tend to become more reserved about what you make public. You know what .. if you want to actually KNOW about me, try being on my friends list a little bit.

Now, that those are said, what I really would like to come out of this post, of anything related to this .. is that maybe mitsukami and naryu would take an actual, objective look at me before passing judgement. While I am unsure that I would even want to be on their community anymore, I am still deeply thirsting for serious kitsune discussions, the kind I simply can't find anywhere else. I mean seriously, this is not meant to offend #kitsune, #spiritual and kitsune_kin, but you aren't going the places I want to go with these concepts. Why is it I have to be the one to say the things that noone else including Fox` will say, that some ideas are simply probability and reality challenged?

I know this makes me kind of a hypocrite because I have my own pie-in-the-sky ideas, but as what might be noticed, I do not accept every pie-in-the-sky idea. Its that 'accept everything cause it can be true' that allows some otherkin to declare themselves were-pokemon and 'connected to Goku' and what the fuck ever. It's polluting the community. As I have been discussing on the friends-only side of my LJ, I have been thinking of founding a LJ group for otherkin that want rationality in their beliefs... the two problems is thinking of a name for the community, and where to draw the line between spirituality and bullshit.

But this isn't to become a rant about these places. This is specifically to address the declaration that 'me = poser' by the shrineofinari community. In the end I can live with being b& from their community forever, but I want them to take down all the crap about me being a poser kitsune. It goes too far, makes assertions about me that they have no credible backing evidence for, in fact it is made in complete ignorance about me other than what I have made public in my LJ, which is primarily tests and a few select rants like this one, which is being made on the long shot that either mitsukami or naryu are one fucking bit interested in the truth about me, rather than half-assed assumptions.

Salem dropped a test in kitsune_kin, and while it got removed by fox2, I answered it anyway. If you still believe I am a poser after reading it, then, there's little I can do with you, but at least you saw truth.

I certainly hope mitsukami and naryu are better people than I currently see them as. Right now they appear to be yet another therian community based around a cult of personality. But I so want to be wrong.

hmm

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:13:22 GMT

For some reason I am being rejected for membership in the community shrineofinari.

Does anyone know why? I've gotten 2 rejections in the last few months, with no explanation why.

Starting a new IRC network

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 20:19:21 GMT

Well I'm starting the new IRC network, and a LJ community will be soon to follow. I've decided to call it Otherkin IRC, at least for now.

It's currently up at irc.faefox.org port 6667.

Now that being said. I have to also note that 1) i'd like to have people use it, and 2) I'm accepting links. Links have to meet this criteria:

1) Static IP address, and your link has got to support at least 384k in both directions.
2) The server must be Unreal 3.2x on some unix variant. This basically includes every OS but Windows.
3) Preferably, I know you. If I don't know you from someplace, then I want to talk to you before linking.
4) You must know how to configure and use Unreal. I'm not going to handhold IRC server setups, I am just going to give you the private information you need to link.

The LJ community will come up as soon as I think of a relevant name.

Is it possible...

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 19:26:00 GMT

..for someone (like me) to start an otherkin group that has a possibility of having a measure of rationality?

Is it possible to have serious discussion about faerie, gryphons, unicorns, elves, etc, and identification of ourselves thereof?

Is it possible for me to make such a place and not have it devolve into the kind of kosmic powah kid fluff that I have seen way too many groups become?

.. if there is a niche left to be filled on the internet, it is for rational discussion of these things, of being an otherkin ... without the deviation to spiritual poseurism, posturing, the escalation of insanity as people come up with more and more probability-challenged ideas.

Just because you might be a unicorn, a faerie, a dragon, a werewolf, etc... does not mean you are a high and mighty queen or king of something. You might just be a unicorn, see?

I dont know what to do yet, I want such a community and will probably start one, but I do not know what medium to use yet. I will probably start a livejournal for it, and whether I choose MUCK or IRC for the realtime part.. I don't know yet. The thing that scares me about using IRC is the feeling that its really someone elses resources.

I don't usually have a problem with power or delegation, but in this case, what you have to realise is I founded Draconicnet, and it WAS the very thing I describe wanting to make now (except for dragons primarily).. and it was ripped away from me by other admins, because I took measures to stop the slide into what it is today, a haven for kosmic powah kids, roleplayers, and general lamers.

So I seriously cannot allow that again.

But anyway.. the point is, what would you all like to see fill this space? Any suggestions? Is it even possible? You tell me.

Done some reading, yea

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 06:42:15 GMT

Been doing a little reading, in particular, Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.

I'd love to criticize his view of the world but I can't.
If Kafka were alive today, he'd have a shit-eating grin on his face and a t-shirt saying "i called it".

I see this story as a commentary of the 'de-personalization' of society. Something he saw coming. Something that has gotten worse and worse over time.

So every TF fan knows he turned into a cockroach. What some probably dont note that he never gets to contemplate this. He never gets to contemplate why he turned into one, he never gets to explore it, never even gets to think of what he can do to change back.

Instead he's like OMFG what is this going to do to my social status, my job, my credit rating!?!

All the while, he's trying to hang onto all shreds of his humanity, while his family has stopped thinking of him as a person entirely. The story ends basically saying 'he died, and everyone was better off for it'.

It really is a sad story, but it is even sadder that it really calls the world as it is today. Lets face it. Today all of our interactions with others, save our circle of friends ... all of us are our social security number, our employee number, our credit card number.

You mean jack shit to 99.999% of the world and maybe more. Ultimately, thats what it comes down to. If the situation were extenuating enough, people would give up on you, yea, even likely your family.

And you can't even lay the blame on them. You have to lay it on a society that depersonalizes everyone, that takes the love away from every personal interaction. People just don't have time for others, don't have room, don't have the energy left.

I guess you just have to hope you get lucky through life...

fc2006.con.report.lj

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 03:51:59 GMT

Oh that reminds me. Guess who found and stalked me at FC this year?!

Everyone's favorite BonziBuddy, Starblade.

I want to thank baxil for helping me get away from this little twerp that one time, and for Dox, starting that conversation about how they wouldn't let him check his shotgun in as in-seat luggage to chase him off the other time.

The third time I managed to lose him myself. By luck probably..

Things I learned about Starblade at the con..
1) He's just as crrrazy offline as he is online.
2) He finds his weight loss terribly interesting.
3) Obsessed with gaming.